No Sex in My City: A Twenty-Something’s Dating Journey
As a young, single, and turnt woman, the topic of dating cannot escape me. With most of my close friends in long term relationships, I seem to be the last one standing - in a long term relationship with myself, going three years strong.
As someone who has been single for so long, who’s self-sufficient, and who has revirginized herself, she cannot fathom dating, let alone putting herself out there. As a heterosexual woman who hates m*n, it’s hard to put that aside and give anyone a chance. I set the bar high for myself and fear that no m*n can measure up to it. I spoil myself, I maintain myself, I do everything for myself, so unless someone can outdo me for me, then I don’t see a point. Not to mention, I love being single and free!
Is she single?
The mere thought of discussing my dating life, rather lack of, might send me into a coma, given I hate talking about m*n, but alas.
Being single for so long, with nary a dating life, has been so peaceful. I haven’t been around a m*n in so long, I don’t even know what I would do with it.
Given the title of this series, you’re probably wondering what, why, how? Well, when I was still living in the Bay, I saw no use in dating, not even anything casual. I, for one, don’t do casual (have you met me? there’s not one casual bone in my body), but I also knew that I would be moving coasts, so I didn’t want to open up any can of worms. Given my plans to move, I needed that time for: self-discovery, self-development, self-love, and self-confidence.
Is she putting herself out there now that she moved?
When I moved to New York, I created a timeline. I wanted to continue to focus on myself for at least a year before I gave a thought to dating (notice how I said a “thought”).
Obviously, having a timeline means nothing when living life. Being thrown a curve ball isn’t an issue for me, but when it’s a m*n, that can, admittedly, swing me for a loop. Let’s just say, I was thrown a curve ball, speeding up my timeline to dating.
Is she dating?
I will say with full confidence that I wouldn’t write anyone off who approaches me. Granted, I don’t get approached often, but I’d like to think that I’m more open to the concept of giving out my phone number in that event. Since I don’t want to resort to dating apps, just knowing that I am open to dating is a huge win for me!
Unsure if we should classify dating as a win, but being slightly vulnerable is the win in itself. (The vulnerability in question: giving out my phone number.) I don’t like opening up to people, I don’t like giving myself to people, and I don’t like people knowing me. This is usually the part where people would describe themselves as a “slow burn”, however, I’d like to classify myself as a “frozen chicken trying to thaw” type of speed. I am very guarded and I have a lot of walls up, but I am at least ready for the potential of a connection, where we actually get to know each other and my walls could be chipped at.
So, is she dating? I can neither confirm nor deny, but I will say that I have gone on dates. With multiple people? You will have to follow along to find out.
This is one of the scariest things I’ve done in a while, and given I fear I’ll never be single again, this is frightening. After three years of being single, I am finally ready to put myself out there and I am taking you with me on this journey. Stay tuned!
xoxo,
kaels
too bad ain’t me <3
