What being Filipino-American means to me

Last Updated: Sep. 2024

I am Filipino-American. There are no deep thoughts attached to that sentence.

I’m not saying that it doesn’t mean anything to me - it’s the essence of who I am: my identity. Yet, it’s not something I actively think about or attach meaning to.

Bakit? (Why?)

Being Filipino-American exists on a spectrum. I understand both cultures, but in very different ways, and from my own unique perspective.

I grew up in a multigenerational household with my grandparents, dad, uncle, and sisters, which is fairly common in Filipino culture. However, despite hearing Tagalog my whole life, I don’t understand a lick of it - aside from the bad words and basics - which deems me more American.

I am grateful to have grown up around other Filipinos and Filipino-Americans in school because it allowed me to be comfortable in my own skin. My home life was very Filipino - I lived with my grandparents. We’d eat Filipino food most days, family members would be at the house often, and we’d go to church on Sundays. It was nice to have friends who shared similar home experiences.

My upbringing

At any given day of the week, there was always a family party consisting of food, relatives, karaoke, and just overall good vibes. A distinct sound that lives in my head is the muffled noise of a party through a quiet bedroom door. Me and my cousins would end up falling asleep in a bedroom, essentially having sleepovers, because the adults would continue to party throughout the night.

Growing up with my grandparents, they instilled values that I might not have developed otherwise. There are a lot of values that I hold that can be deemed Filipino (collectivism and family), while others are more American (individualism). This is where my blend of being Filipino-American really shines.

My personal values, as a Filipino-American start with: respect, hospitality, and family. Though family is important to me, I want to shed light on how family can be toxic. There are a lot of Filipino traits that I’ve witnessed that are unhealthy, specifically surrounding familial values. All I can say for certain is that I am determined to break generational trauma.

Can I answer the question? What does it mean to me?

I embody being Filipino-American daily. It has shaped a lot of my experiences and behaviors.

If you want to read more about how culture shapes different parts of our lives, I discuss it my posts on how culture impacts time and how culture impacts education.

Being Filipino-American is deeply rooted in community. I mentioned earlier that I value family and collectivism. The Philippines has a collective culture, which has translated into my day-to-day life.

I love meeting other Filipinos—we run deep. There’s something so comforting about it—you just automatically understand each other.

There may be shame, unfortunately, surrounding identity as a historically marginalized group. As I get older, I’ve come to understand that there’s a lot to unlearn. With unlearning the negative behaviors, there’s a greater understanding that there is so much to be proud of. This is why community and a sense of belonging are so important—you’re seen and heard. You can connect with others and reclaim your identity in a much prouder and louder way. (Shoutout to Gabi and her deep insights for allowing me to write this.)

In college, that space for me was the Filipino club—shoutout to Barkada SCU. I remember seeing the Filipino flag at their table in Benson (iykyk), and my ears perked up. I knew I had found my people for the rest of college and beyond.

All I know for sure is that Filipinos get excited when they meet other Filipinos, and that feeling is hard to put into words.

For me, being Filipino-American means everything, yet it is something I struggle to put into words because it’s just who I am.

That being said, what does being Filipino-American mean to you? Let’s talk about it. Also, more importantly, what’s your favorite Filipino food?

mahals,
kaels
too bad ain’t me<3

(mahals: our abbreviation for “mahal kita” translating to “i love you” in Tagalog)